By Pastor Tee, Pastor of Outreach

Can young people develop into healthy adults without real world responsibilities?

Since the end of the COVID pandemic, many large U.S. cities are struggling with rising gun violence and crime. Homicide rates are higher now compared to before the pandemic. Experts believe that this surge is related to the stress of the pandemic as well as the civic unrest that followed the murder of George Floyd. Some even believe the protest of police presence in urban communities resulted in a pullback of law enforcement contributing to higher crime.

Parents have become more afraid to let their children play outside and nearby. But if young people do not learn to engage the real world, how will they become responsible adults and community members?

If we go back to the early 20th century in places like New York City, children and youth delinquency was at an all time high. During this time, everyone, including children and youth, were working long hours in factories. A large portion of young people, mostly male, were homeless for a variety of reasons: orphans, eviction, derelict parents, etc. The result was a surge in street crime.

One solution to this dilemma was to create spaces for young people to learn skills and to empower them through self governance like Boys Town. The youth were in positions of power and authority (judges and policemen) attempting to exercise their duties with fairness and compassion in their community. Another solution was to thrust them into wilderness experiences challenging them to be responsible such as Outward Bound.

Both of these responsibility-driven programs worked because the young people were exposed to real world obligations and self preservation. Unfortunately since then, some of these successful programs have morphed into treatment centers today primarily prioritizing medication and therapy…and have become overall, less effective.

My daughter, Nyah, is a graduate of Temple University. In high school, she participated in a week-long Outward Bound program. My wife and I felt like she needed to develop more self confidence in her understanding of the world and responsibility. As her father, I was slightly worried about one of the requirements; Each participant had to spend 24 hours alone in the wilderness with food, a sleeping bag and a tarp. My daughter completed the program but she confessed that the ‘alone’ part was scary and difficult. However, she took enough books along to occupy herself. In addition, the participants were probably at least 100 feet away from each other and there were several skilled adults within this mix.

From this experience, I saw Nyah’s self awareness and confidence grow. She completed some hard tasks that helped grow her confidence. In addition, she was able to do something else that was extremely difficult: Transfer of Training. The limitation with Outward Bound is that most of her experience was in nature, not in a city. On the surface, it can appear that this experience doesn’t transfer into the real world.

But as Spiderman said…with great power comes great responsibility. Uncle Ben shared this phrase with his nephew, Peter Parker aka Spiderman, before he was killed. His point is that there is a moral side to taking responsibility which is why many fail to embrace it. But what you choose to do with this responsibility will determine the direction of your life and others.

My wife and I made sure that the same principles they utilized in Outward Bound were the same principles we utilized at home. This helped her transfer what she learned in nature into her everyday life. Those principles are Learning through Experience, Challenge and Adventure and a Supportive Environment. (To learn more about these principles, click here and scroll down.) Since this experience, Nyah has traveled to over 6 countries in the last 6 years with others and by herself. She realized that she has the power to be responsible and that it can yield benefits.

It is important that parents know that, for their child to understand the power of responsibility, this virtue must be promoted consistently in the areas where they spend the most of their time: home, school, church, family, etc. Inconsistency invites confusion and entitlement.

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4

The Bible recognizes the importance of challenges in our life. They force us to stretch ourselves more than we think we are capable. Once we learn that we can survive a challenge, God prepares us for the next challenge making us stronger and giving us confidence.

Young people need challenges in life that help them grow in their understanding of responsibility to themselves and others. They must learn to go without, be patient and be selfless in a world that wants to keep them medicated, reaching for on-demand virtual experiences and self centered. This distracts them from discovering their purpose and turns them into consumers where they are always looking for the next hot thing or experience. This produces adults who ask ‘what’s in it for me?’ and not ‘how can I help others?’

One researcher stated that “a young man should not just be told that he is capable of more than he thinks he can do, but rather a set of circumstances must be devised in which he demonstrates such competence to himself.”

Adults, we MUST set the example!

Friday Night Live (FNL) is a response to the dangers of excessive smartphone, internet and social media use. Twice a month, youth from the community, grades 5th-8th, participate in high energy athletic and strategy games built around social interaction with a short Bible message. It is staffed by adult volunteers and trained OCMC high school youth. We developed a junior TEAM leader component to prepare middle schoolers for the responsibilities of high school and being the next FNL high school leaders.

A junior TEAM leader must be in 8th grade and is trained to lead 3-4 FNL youth in games. They must be:

• Teachable: Can follow instructions

• Engaging: Brings some energy to FNL

• Adaptable: Can handle sudden changes

• Motivate: Willing to engage youth

To see how Friday Night Live works, click here to watch a few of our videos and clips. If you want to  have a discussion, contact Pastor Tee.